The event, which was held in the confines of a cavernous bar downtown, had a surprisingly large turnout. " I looked at my name tag, which was peeling off already, as if it knew that the "T" written on it was all some horrible lie. That, and never buy knives from that dude from high school.

I happened to be one of the first guys to register with the organizer, and I took the opportunity to grab a beer and watch the men herd into line to register like cattle to the slaughter. " the organizer asked one man, who responded with a nervous chuckle. To be blunt, most of the men on either side (including me) were average-looking -- sometimes aggressively so.

One gentleman, for example, interrupted me halfway throughout our introductions and asked with a smile, "Are you a Greek god? I gave him the ol' side eye and sipped out of my beer suspiciously. "I would love to take you back to my apartment to photograph you." Flattered, and with a bit of beer foam dribbling out of my mouth, I politely declined.

I tried to make my chest seem bigger, deepened my voice and swigged my sh***y beer like I was in a square state.

Alas, despite my greatest efforts, I was not a very convincing top.

There was a drizzle of uneasy laughter from the men in line. These men weren't the living mannequins you see gliding on the roller skates of their good looks through Chelsea.

It was like a nightmarish game of dodgeball that would air on LOGO.

It was incredibly refreshing to meet people in real life, for once.

Stretching my social muscles was a good exercise, and it's fun trying to make strangers laugh.

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The kind of woman who joins our database are high quality, who are fit in mind, body, and spirit and who is ready for a committed, long term relationship with an amazing man.

Love is truly a numbers game, and these men knew this.

That, my friends, was the biggest takeaway -- that, and the fact that a doe-eyed, 5-foot-10, 150-pound Asian man does not make a convincing top.

That's how I imagine this gentleman felt, except that instead of being the smartest man in the room, he was the best-looking.